When the difficulties of life seem overwhelming, the speaker’s spirit navigates choppy waters, longing for comfort and calm. These are periods of deep sadness. Desperate to calm the turmoil inside, they seek solace in the embrace of sleep amid the cacophony of roosters and the incessant hum of thoughts. Though the speaker is aware of the long-term effects on loved ones, she avoids the siren call of self-destruction even in the midst of chaos and despair. Every morning, a ray of light breaks through the darkness to show the way to recovery and atonement.

Writing gives the speaker a sense of purpose and fortitude, making them an inspiration to others facing their own struggles. Their words are filled with compassion and empathy, providing comfort to those who have suffered similar losses. Their comments strike a chord of empathy and understanding, comforting the wounded spirits who walk a similar lonely and painful path. The speaker welcomes life’s challenges and affirms the strength of love, resilience, and the unbreakable human spirit as they work towards wholeness.

Discouraged by life there
are times my vessel is
depleted and I want to die.

In those moments
when the tank is nearly drained,
delirious thoughts flow.

At midnight on this Oahu beach
I hear a thousand roosters crow
canceling the sound of ocean waves,

Placing headphones over ear plugs, I ask
come sweet sleep and escort tinnitus away
putting thoughts of sabotage to rest,

When sleep deprivation is endless,
like Niagara Falls I want to pull the plug,
and end it all.

When the HVAC won’t cut off
and partner’s snoring never ends
I want to push pause and escape.

Demented thoughts fill the tenth floor
though tempting I dare not step
beyond that open doorway,

It would be too easy to take a leap,
and prove what they always
said, “I knew he was crazy!”

but that is not my legacy.
Can’t let my kids grieve for eternity,
because they’d never know why

or allow my wife to wonder,
“What did I do?”
Though enticing I keep myself

from the sliding door, knowing
that path would be painful.
Finally dawn comes through the crucible of despair

lifting the veil leading to the warm green light
where I’m comforted by blankets of love.
I write because nothing has been easy.

It’s not easy now. But that’s ok because
I am alive and this is the breakthrough.
I write for all the unhinged souls

who needed one more hour of sleep
before they passed through sanctuary’s door.
For the story tellers with unbearable pain, I live.

For those with PTSD who couldn’t help themselves, I live.
For the bridge jumper, mainliner and over the cliff seekers, I live.
For those who never had a voice because the hurt
was overwheling, I live.